Sep 1, 2010

That Irritating Habit- Whining!!

Pregnancy is one of the things that can make a mom feels like she is up high on a throne in the sky and the next minute lost in the gutter. What can make it worse? It is when she is handling a “tantrum-lovin” toddler in her hands. Any moms out there who have experienced this would 100%ly understood on what I mean.

Alhamdulillah, Miya’s tantrum dah makin kurang lately.....However, a new things pula she pick up on. She learned the art of whining, using her voice tone along with her words in trying to get things to work her ways.

Okie, to me whining ni is not as bad as tantrum. Tantrum can make my blood boils. Tapi whining ni more of a very irritating habit that can make us feel very very “menyampah”.

With tantrums, kids thinks that crying can make things go their way because that is what they are used to as a baby. But now dia dah toddler who’ve learned a few vocabularies to request for things.

Anyway, it’s pretty normal for kids of any age can go through periods of whining, it's most common with two and three year olds.

According to Child Psychotherapist, Janet Morrison, whining seems to increase during those times in a child’s life when they feel frustrated with themselves. “It tends to come in periods of a child's development when they're a little overwhelmed, when the child is feeling that she's not coping very well, and when the child has an expectation of failure or disappointment,” explains Morrison. “The child who expects things to go well tends to holler or shout. The child who feels a little defeated or overwhelmed tends to whine.”

Miya ni sikit-sikit “Nooooooo”, “Stoooooooooooooop”, “Don’t toooooooooooooouch”, “Naaaaaaaaaaaak” or “Pleeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeeeee” with a very pitch “mendayu” tone. Menyampah kan? Tapi rupanya ada bersebab juga whinning ni. It’s all about getting our attention when our child is not feeling great.

So what to do?

From my reading, experts say that do not give in to whining.

Firstly, we should do is learn to recognize on when our child will do her “whining performance”. Perhati dia mengantuk ke? Lapar ke? Tak puas hati with something ke? Terasa tak sihat ke?

Secondly, get them to stop using the whining voice. Let them know that we can only understand or listen to a proper or happy voice and not the whiny one. Example, when your toddler starts whining, dengan penuh selambe kita kata “Eeee, kenapa cakap merengek-rengek ni. Mama tak paham. Eee apa Miya nak cakap ni. Miya tak reti cakap elok-elok dah ke? Eee tak paham.” or “Stop whining and talk properly coz mama tak faham” or as repeatedly said by all nanny in Nanny 911 “Don’t whining. Use your proper words so that mummy can understand you or else she won’t listen”.

If they persists, repeat that you can’t listen to the whiny voice. Bila dia talk properly, we should praise them and attend to her needs as requested.

Another thing that might work is to ignore the toddler's whining. If there is no response to their whining, they will eventually stop. You have to be really patient because it is a long process that is going to have to be repeated consistently until they get the point.

So mommies, these are the stuff that kinda works for Miya & me. How about u?

"Miya ni ada nampak cam a whining girl ke aunties? Miya baik kan kan kan?" kata Miya proudly.


CuppyCakeMommy said...

hurmm..mencabar juga bula budak makin besar ni kan..ok will try it once mia dah start whinning nanti..

yatie chomeyl said...

alala comel nyer miya pakai telekung....masa whining, comel gak tak? eheh

transformed housewife said...

Hafizah also likes to whine now (she's 3). Yup most of the time I will say "Stop whining and use ur normal voice so I can understand what u're saying". Normally she'll stop but next time she'll start whining again.

reitak said...

oh yes, all the whinning and half screaming of 'naaaaak' and 'ammikkkkkk' is sooo annoying. It usually happens to my 20month-old when he's sleepy or when trying to pry me away from his 3month-old sis.
A firm 'No!' or ignoring him works. Once in a while it takes longer than it should.

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Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor nor am I a lawyer. I am not a scientist nor am I an expert. I am just a wife and a mother, who is putting her thoughts and findings in a blog. All of the posting on this website & my blogs were written by me for educational purposes and as my sentimental library, but are not meant to diagnose nor treat any medical disorders. Any other materials that I may have quote from other published materials are for educational purposes only and not for any other manipulative reasons. Anyway, whatever weird stuff that I published are the real stuff that I believe works for me. Tips and tricks that might work for me. You are free to put it in your head if you thinks its valuable, but if you think its rubbish... Please don't mock me. Do please shut your pie hole.
FUCK YOU UP!!! son of a bitch