Lately ever since the both of us are unemployed, our daily routine have become more spontaneous and are lesser to predict. Could this have caused Miya to learn tantrum near or during bedtime?
From my reading on one of Dr Montessori's article, a child needs a good routine for him/her to grow smarter..and so it goes:
"A ritual helps children learn what is expected of them and helps them to feel safe because nothing is a surprise. According to Montessori, "a child needs peaceful sameness in order to construct his inner life." (Montessori, A Child in the Family ) At the Children's Center, we use many rituals throughout the day to help create a structure which defines what comes next for the children. The sequence, not the clock or the caregiver, lets the children know what follows what. This helps improve their concentration, develop independent thinking, organize their thoughts, mind and body, and, helps us move the children along to the next activity. At home, sequences are useful too. The child quickly learns that after I brush my teeth, I will take a bath, then I will have a foot rub, and then bedtime.
Predictability and routine help children gain a sense of mastery and security. By knowing what comes next, the child is able to predict what will happen and can take an active rather than passive part of her own caretaking. Current research shows that repeated experiences make physical changes in the brain and affect the physical, cognitive and emotional development. Your routines and rituals do matter for your child's developing personality.
Rituals have ground rules -- for example, no reading after 9:00 PM, no back rubs on the big bed, only one glass of water at bedtime, etc. --- and it is important to enforce your ground rules. As William Sears notes, "Establish rules but at the same time create conditions that make the rules easier to follow. Children need boundaries. They won't thrive or survive without limits; neither will their parents.... This involves setting wise limits and providing structure." (Sears, The Discipline Book)
Children will push and test limits. If you find your bedtime ritual getting longer and longer (as I did), you may need to try to find another part of the day to give your child the extra attention he is asking for -- and needs. Perhaps first thing in the morning or early evening after supper. Focused time earlier in the day or evening may satisfy the child of his need for your attention. Pay attention to the needs of your child at bedtime. It can tell you a great deal about what is going on for your child."
Or whatever we are having now is her favored routine?
8pm after bath, breastfeed til she fall asleep (anytime after bath, WAJIB have milk..or else she'll be cranky).
then quick nap for an hour, while papa & mama miya have dinner (while watching Dr House abusing his staff).
then miya will scream, then we pick her up..quick play for 30mins to 1hour...then the whole family go to to bed..
IS THAT A HEALTHY BED TIME ROUTINE? if its not, marah miya. coz if we dont follow such routine..she will kick a fuss...throw tantrum all over the world!!