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Pregnancy is one of the things that can make a mom feels like she is up high on a throne in the sky and the next minute lost in the gutter. What can make it worse? It is when she is handling a “tantrum-lovin” toddler in her hands. Any moms out there who have experienced this would 100%ly understood on what I mean.
Alhamdulillah, Miya’s tantrum dah makin kurang lately.....However, a new things pula she pick up on. She learned the art of whining, using her voice tone along with her words in trying to get things to work her ways.
Okie, to me whining ni is not as bad as tantrum. Tantrum can make my blood boils. Tapi whining ni more of a very irritating habit that can make us feel very very “menyampah”.
With tantrums, kids thinks that crying can make things go their way because that is what they are used to as a baby. But now dia dah toddler who’ve learned a few vocabularies to request for things.
Anyway, it’s pretty normal for kids of any age can go through periods of whining, it's most common with two and three year olds.
According to Child Psychotherapist, Janet Morrison, whining seems to increase during those times in a child’s life when they feel frustrated with themselves. “It tends to come in periods of a child's development when they're a little overwhelmed, when the child is feeling that she's not coping very well, and when the child has an expectation of failure or disappointment,” explains Morrison. “The child who expects things to go well tends to holler or shout. The child who feels a little defeated or overwhelmed tends to whine.”
Miya ni sikit-sikit “Nooooooo”, “Stoooooooooooooop”, “Don’t toooooooooooooouch”, “Naaaaaaaaaaaak” or “Pleeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeeeee” with a very pitch “mendayu” tone. Menyampah kan? Tapi rupanya ada bersebab juga whinning ni. It’s all about getting our attention when our child is not feeling great.
So what to do?
From my reading, experts say that do not give in to whining.
Firstly, we should do is learn to recognize on when our child will do her “whining performance”. Perhati dia mengantuk ke? Lapar ke? Tak puas hati with something ke? Terasa tak sihat ke?
Secondly, get them to stop using the whining voice. Let them know that we can only understand or listen to a proper or happy voice and not the whiny one. Example, when your toddler starts whining, dengan penuh selambe kita kata “Eeee, kenapa cakap merengek-rengek ni. Mama tak paham. Eee apa Miya nak cakap ni. Miya tak reti cakap elok-elok dah ke? Eee tak paham.” or “Stop whining and talk properly coz mama tak faham” or as repeatedly said by all nanny in Nanny 911 “Don’t whining. Use your proper words so that mummy can understand you or else she won’t listen”.
If they persists, repeat that you can’t listen to the whiny voice. Bila dia talk properly, we should praise them and attend to her needs as requested.
Another thing that might work is to ignore the toddler's whining. If there is no response to their whining, they will eventually stop. You have to be really patient because it is a long process that is going to have to be repeated consistently until they get the point.
So mommies, these are the stuff that kinda works for Miya & me. How about u?