Jun 16, 2010

Manners Matters


Kalau Melayu dia seloka, kalau Melayu dia bermadah, kalau Melayu manis bicara, Kalau Melayu manis bahasa.... I think I got all the wording right from a song by Ahli Fiqir, I once suka sebelum jadi mak mak ni.

I teringat these lyrics as I was sitting down with a coffee while watching the breakfast show on7 this morning. They were discussing about Suri Cruise yang ada potensi to be a brat as she is now being treated as a little diva. Then they discussed on manners to teach our kids untuk elakkan dari jadi brat, eventho we shower them with luxury like a little diva.

Memang lah we all want our children to be well-mannered, but we also know how hard it is to convince them to do anything, much less be polite and respectful. I remember my own difficulties dari kecil sampai lah nak jadi bini orang, getting remark where someone said “Modern and educated sangat sampai lupa adap. Mat salleh sangat la tu”. What the f... , indeed....

Could it be that I was too into intellectual & modern stuff, till I lupa adat & adap Melayu? Could it be that the current generation of interlectual have discarded themselves from being bounded to adat & adap? Could it be we watch too much American movies & tv shows, yang buat kita Melayu terikut-ikut akan simple lifestyle where certain stuff aje matters and we don't need to sweat the small stuff yg adat kita suruh?

Tapi after a while menetap di rantau orang, I could feel that its not just Melayu facing this kind of problem. Commonly I find mat salleh pun having problem sama. Biasanya yang buat macam-macam would be the young kids, while pakcik makcik matsalleh ni cukup manis sopan santunnya. Murah senyum, selalu greet me eventho I wanita bertudung and even main-main dengan Miya macam cucu sendiri.

So? Apa sudah jadi until its giving such result toward the younger generation? Could it be poor role models on television or persekitaran anak? What can we do?

After dah membaca from a few articles from many various expert, I share with you the summary:

· Sopan Santun berbicara: Bila kita bercakap or sambil-sambil membebel menyusu or tukar nappy dia, kita cakap lembut-lembut. Never ever forget “please” and “thank you”.


· Sentuhan/Socialize Penuh Love & Care: No biting, No hitting, Loads of XOXO, pat a pet. Experts shows, kalau dari kecik anak dah biasa begini, anak takkan opt to violence when frustrated.

However, ni maybe a bit susah nak apply for kids yang most of the time duduk kat daycare and exposed to many kids with many attitude. Young kids only paham the concept of “an eye for an eye”, so kalau orang buat aku gitu, aku patut bela diri and buat balik kat orang lain. Then all of a sudden it became a common attitude acceptable among toddlers at daycare. Even Miya yang pegi daycare seminggu sekali ni pun ada aje attitude tak best dia pick up cam, jerit-jerit bila mintak benda & hit bila marah. I'm not blaming anyone but dah mmg children live what they learn. Cepat menangkap & applies what works for them. We should remind anak kita “an eye for an eye can make the world go blind”. So what can we do? If we see such No-No attitude going on at home, we must put a stop to it. Make them realize that these kind of No-No does not work. I know its a bit leceh, but believe me, kalau kita dok pahat ukiran cantik kat anak kita, insyaAllah ternampak hasil dia suatu hari nanti.


· Hormat: Practice well-mannered activities in front of your baby, cam hold the door for someone, kata sorry or excuse me bila terlanggar orang, tolong angkat benda jatuh or say thank you after orang tolong kita or bagi barang kat kita.

Lepas tu bebel lak kat anak kata, kita kena buat camtu. Kena tolong orang or hormat orang. Kita kena hormat orang kalau nak orang hormat kita. InsyaAllah anak akan register dalam otak, then learn to make sense of the action & menunggu masa aje untuk apply it to his/her life.


· Sabar: Ni antara benda paling tough untuk tanam dalam diri anak especially dia going through the “terrible two” stage. Tapi nak tak nak we must, kalau tak for the rest of his/her life dia bawak perangai tu. I read it helps by putting one hand on the child’s shoulder while with a serious voice we say “sabar/wait/tunggu/patient”. I also rajin bagi anak makan kurma, as it helps untuk bina kesabaran anak.


One simple thing as basic as life itself, try to practise what your religion ask you to do. Islam, Christian, Buddha, Hindu, Judaism, Taoism, Confucius and many more...semua have the same basic. Do good to other as how you will do good to yourself, Don't harm other as much as you don't want yourself to suffer from other's harm,...and commit actions or support action contributing to WORLD PEACE.


Sapa sokong saya angkat tangan!!


14 comments:

SyidaMislan said...

Sokong sangat!
Banyak nak kena belajar on how to teach our kids kan?

thanks for sharing =)

~ As ~ said...

saya angkat tangan utk sokong...
anak akan jdi ikut acuan yg kita buat...
kena hati2 banyak kan.

e.l.i.s.s.m.i.e said...

*sedang angkat tangan!

tapi yang sabar tu memang selalu jer tak tertahan sabar.

dan aku bukanlah jenis sopan santun punya. hehehehe

Liz Rohaizat said...

ija, nampak x saya angkat tgn? hehe.

anak mmg akan cepat absorb mcm2 kan termasuk la perangai kwn2 dia. mmg kita kena bentuk dia dr kecil.

Redcomel said...

agree sangat ija..
nama pun budak2..byk ragamnya..

sabar paling penting bila jadi parent, sbb sesapa pun boleh melahirkan anak tapi tang mendidik, susah dan perlukan usaha keras.

well, this is brilliant entry. :D
Not the same ija at the Sc2 anymore..:) sgt grow up dan matang walaupun ani tgk Ija masih comel, hihihi..

Confession of a Coffeeholic Mama-Miya said...

to all mommies--> sharing sebab caring...rajin2 mengingati coz kekadang i sendiri lupa daaa..

to redcomel--> blush...

skang ni pun ada time gila2 gak but within limit yg boleh diterima oleh suami & anak..hihihi..

size maintain cam time sc2 dulu sebab ija kan VAMPIRE..never grow old..or bigger..huhuhuh...

My_Aqeelah said...

sokong!
bila tgk nanny911 tu lagi pening tgk anak mat salleh. sampai simbah air kat muka mak!!!
nak didik anak kena sabar, setuju!
my 1yr old dot is deaf,mmg mencabar sebab kadang tu tak paham apa yang dia nak sampai dia mengamuk sakan. sabar ajela.

Confession of a Coffeeholic Mama-Miya said...

my aqeelah--> mmg antara benda yg buat anak tantrum & have attitude prob is when dia ingat takde org paham dia.. frustrated sgt...

try your best to babysign all the time la. cam miya kalau dia tak tau nak kata or i tak paham, she will use basic baby signing. alhamdulillah kurang sgt la amuk dia compare to the time dia baby tak reti nak sign lg.

joyahsport said...

xmo angkt tgn, nk angkat kaki buleh?huahuahua...
sokong2...my kids kcik sgt lg..mudah2an me n all moms out there dpat didik anak2 kite mnjadi insan bergune...takot kn...

Lynn Nasir said...

salam,

satu benda yg selalu saya suka ulang kat anak2 saya ialah "sabar". bila diorg nk susu, and whining and screaming..i will say "sabar..nanti..sabar..". pastu kan, after few times diorg pick-up sendiri. "ummi, nak tutu..nanti..tabar..". hehe!

yatie chomeyl said...

i siap angkat tangan dgn kaki sekali dah ni hehec

lailasani said...

sokong!!!!!!!!
tp spt yg dikatakan dlm entry ni lah... kalau dah duduk kat rumah bbsitter/nursery byk benda luar yg kita cuba elakkan ade je yg anak kita bawak balik. anak dara ni br je 2 tahun tp tetiba je dh tau ckp 'BODOH' sedih dan terkejut jugak.... huhuhu

AlohaMolly said...

sini molly hands+legs up sokong :)

hehe..exaggerated :P

Sue said...

Sokong!!!

Tapi mmg part sabar tu menguji betul. Masalahnye ibu yg kurang sabar ngan karenah anak2. Hehe.. that one i think i pun kena byk2 bersabar...... huhu

owh, kurma membantu kira bersabar? really? baru ku tau

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Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor nor am I a lawyer. I am not a scientist nor am I an expert. I am just a wife and a mother, who is putting her thoughts and findings in a blog. All of the posting on this website & my blogs were written by me for educational purposes and as my sentimental library, but are not meant to diagnose nor treat any medical disorders. Any other materials that I may have quote from other published materials are for educational purposes only and not for any other manipulative reasons. Anyway, whatever weird stuff that I published are the real stuff that I believe works for me. Tips and tricks that might work for me. You are free to put it in your head if you thinks its valuable, but if you think its rubbish... Please don't mock me. Do please shut your pie hole.
 
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